In a world, where it seems that you can have
everything no matter where and no matter when, fashion delivered overnight for
an event the next day, ghost writers for your school papers, or even food, there
is one thing that you cannot buy: love. What happens if you long for someone to
take care of you, to hold you in your arms when you’re down, to kiss your tears
away, to pick you up from work while waiting at the fence, to share life with,
to come home to every day, to respect you, to give you the feeling that you are
special or to clasp your hand when society judges you again with their looks when
walking hand in hand through the city? You cannot just go on google and order
someone that does these things to you. Going online on many of the now trending
dating applications seems to be hopeless when the majority of the people on there
wants to have you for a quickie. Feelings often do not play a role then. It is
rather satisfying human needs like sex which is disgusting when all you are
looking for is pure love. Day after day you try to forget about the fact that
there is no one there. You go to school, you meet up with friends, you do
sports, you try to forget about that someone that is not there (yet). At the
same time you definitely do not forget that gap in your life. You will remember
it when it is time to go home all by yourself at the latest. That moment when
you say goodbye to your friends and it is time to hit the road and go home. Night
after night you come home to your place where nobody is waiting for you. Maybe
you are lucky and your parents are home, but still, they are not this gap
filling replacement you are looking for. This is the time where you are hit by
a feeling. Can you already feel it? It is right there. It is waiting for you.
It is filling your tummy with this uncomfortably sick feeling. That is the fear
of being alone.
